Childcare

I am an RECE and I was that nervous parent…

Child care is the one field that as decades pass, it remains consistent. Since World War II when men were off fighting and women entered the workforce on a full time basis child care has been there to solve the problem of what can we do with our kids who are too young for traditional school.

It is a scary journey for most first time parents. How do you trust a complete stranger, in a building of strangers, with strange children from all walks of life – how do you trust them with your most precious little being?

Sometimes we require child care because we have no other alternative – many of us work because we have too. Most Canadians aren’t given the opportunity to stay home full time – with a mortgage and bills – the modern world is a different one!

Sometimes we have careers that we love. By the time I had my son, I had been a Registered Early Childhood Educator (RECE) for the past 6 years.

I was established in my company, my classroom was my classroom. I had made connections with families that spanned years at that point. I was on the track to becoming a supervisor of a center and I loved working. When it came time to enjoy staying home with my newborn I found myself taking pause. Do I want to stay home with my son? What about my career?

I managed 8 months of maternity leave before I was itching to get back into the workforce. I started out part time – working before and after school so that I could get the “best of both worlds” I told myself.

That lasted almost a year. I went back to full time by the time my son was 18 months old and I was so very ready. But what about him? Can I really put him in daycare? Should I trust strangers with my baby? When I was part time my mom took care of him – but full time – can Nana handle that much of a 20 month old boy?

My mom assured me she could and so back I went – I couldn’t bring myself to put him into care. Strangers looking after my son – no thank you!  Isn’t it the funniest thought coming from someone who is literally that stranger looking after your child!  I was a new parent who was navigating working full time and parenting. This is new territory.

After some time I realized my son needed socialization. His speech was delayed and we had been told to try daycare so, I started my search for part time care.

This led me to Miss Lucas.  She was a fellow protégé of my RECE mentor Patti.  Patti was now the supervisor a cute little child care centre and Miss Lucas was in the toddler room working under her.  I decided to reach out.

The day we met on our tour I was apprehensive. The educators were busy and only had time for a hello. I began to second guess my decision – but ever the voice of reason, my husband pushed, reminding me that this was a good idea for our son’s development. He also reminded me – how often do you get to stand around and chat with parents in the middle of the day? True story – it’s not often!

I went for my play visit.  Before COVID took over the world, we could go on play visits where a parent and a child visit a centre together. They spend time in the classroom – you get to know your child’s teacher.  It’s a comforting time when you can feel out the room and how it works.

This was when I realized that Miss Lucas was exactly what my son required. She is sweet and kind – but firm and honest. My son was – and is – a wild child. He is the definition of “I do it my way” kind of boy who is used to Nana and her soft touch.

But even he felt comfortable around Miss Lucas – and that was a milestone for us.  He never felt comfortable with strangers. I started to feel good about this choice.  This was the best decision for his development. Reality hit soon after that.

Drop offs were hard. He cried and screamed and wouldn’t leave me – I ended up crying in my car before work every day.

I checked our parent app religiously. I was desperate for information on my son. Every photo of him I looked over to see if he was stressed out – was he unhappy or hurt? Was he okay?

I even called on my lunch break. I ended up picking him up early most days. I was becoming “that parent”. The one that as an educator I wished I could comfort but how could I show her that the child is really okay?!

I stayed awake until 3 am one night – crying on the phone to my mom. Was I making the wrong choice?  Was I hurting him by making him go through this process? Did he really need to be in daycare, away from my family, away from me?  Should I stay home from work? Should I just swallow my career goals and give him 100% of my attention?

Thank goodness for mothers and their honesty.

“Emma…use your head.  What do you tell parents every day who are new to child care? You wouldn’t be happy at home all of the time. That would not be a good environment for him.  Child care is an old institution, you know it has its perks…”

Even to this day I hated to admit it but she was right.  He was going to be fine!  Sure he was sad in the beginning but just like every other child I had ever welcomed into my room – the tears never lasted long.  Children are resilient little creatures. We don’t give them enough credit! The pros of child care outweighed my own fears. He needed this!

And one day…a year or so later – he did the inevitable.  He walked in, by himself and said goodbye with a wave  – not even a look back at me.

We did it. It took time but we did it.

Fast forward to now – he’s five years old and starting SK in January.  He still has a speech delay, but has mostly overcome that barrier with regular therapy and exposure to other children! We forget how much social interaction is necessary in these first years.

Humans are social creatures – we are by nature, socially wired. We learn best from others – after all, our curriculum is based on social interaction and play!

My son had the opportunity to grow – to become a polite, mostly-understandable little man because I told myself every day that he was stronger than me and we would make it through together.

I had the opportunity to hire Miss Lucas at my current centre and she has made a wonderful addition to our centre. When COVID took over my husband and I made the decision to keep our son out of the school board until January – let them figure out the kinks we said. So he comes to “school” twice a week. And his teacher?  Miss Lucas.  Our child care journey was serendipitous. I found comfort in a woman I barely knew. I found my son adored her just as much as I came to. I never believed a stranger could become a part of my family. So much so that when I had an opportunity to hire her – I snatched her up like a kid with candy!

Last week he came to me and said “mommy, I can spell!  C – A – K – E!  Miss Lucas told me!”

Sure enough, a video that I received via our parent-communication app showed just that. He was using wooden letters to fill in a word. It was cake.

My son tells me each day after school what Miss Lucas taught him. He is proud as punch and you know what?

I am too.